What has been troubling me in the midsts of this past month, should just have been Christmas, and my upcoming wedding on January 3, 2009.
But it turns out, my fiancee - Sofia, had a lump on her breast -- and it was cancer.
Initially - it was thought to be benign - not a cancer. It was removed December 7, and then biopsied.
Sadly, it turns out -- it is cancer, and it wasn't fully removed. A second surgery, this time a cancer surgery had to be done, to remove what was left.
That was the first time I waited a whole afternoon at a hospital, waiting for the whole procedure (prep, operation, post/recovery) to finish, so that we know the results, the findings, and we can bring Sofia home.
Sofia's lymph nodes however had to be taken out and biopsied as well. Her breast cancer could have spread. The findings of her pathology exam - there are 8 of 32 taken that are positive with Cancer.
Given the total size of the cancer taken -- the classification is stage 3A -- between 2cm and 4.9cm.
Sofia has to have chemotherapy, to kill out all those cancer cells that could have spread.
Even if the lymph nodes ever didn't have cancer, she'd still have to take radiotherapy.
Then there's one more clincher -- something we had to cram on Christmas eve to settle thru tests of the bone, liver and lungs ---- if the Cancer has spread anywhere else in her body.
So come Wednesday midmorning, we were waiting for the results of her three tests to come out. Hoping they all come out negative.
The bone scan came first -- the first resounding and hopeful words I've heard from Sofia in a few days "Yes! negative!"
It was a start.
Come later in the afternoon, her cancer surgery doctor called in the verbal reports (formal reports won't be coming in til later since it's already vacation mode for the most of the doctors; this is the most we could get for now).....the other tests came out negative.
Thank God -- it's just have chemotherapy and radio therapy to worry about.
But then again -- even chemotherapy has effects on the reproductive system. Patients have a 50/50 possibility, as it is, in reproducing after chemotherapy. There's also a pill taken for five years after the treatment to help cancer from recurring. But then -- 50/50 just means modern medicine doesn't fully know.
Sadly only embryos -- fertilized eggs, not sperms, not eggs alone -- can be preserved here in the Philippines for five years. Preservation thru freezing of sperms and eggs -- the closest is only in Hong Kong and Singapore.
So I guess having a kid afterwards -- It'll just be up to luck, and to God...and perhaps mind over body -- to determine that.
Whatever the case maybe for having a kid --- the important part is Sofia gets through this treatment.
She's written what she can
I can't completely know her experience since I'm not the one with the cancer....but I can say that it's really heavy when you're dealing with it at a young age, and it steps on all your plans.
I've seen a lot of problems like this for relatives and friends --- but when you're the one supporting the one with the illness -- you'd wonder if what you're doing is the best that you can do... and how do you hold together what ever you have right now.
aw...my prayers for Sophia, you and your families. That you may have the strength to endure and support each other in this time of trial. 